You wake up in a forest with ants crawling over your feet

You wake up in a forest with ants crawling over your feet.

There is a foul taste in you but it reminds you of your lover, so you pick up a poison berry from the shrub under the shadow of the dying tree and put it into your mouth.

The ants die faster than you and you go back to sleep in the forest. Forever.
No…please don’t let it be morning…please…let the sun not rise…I need the darkness to hide in. the shadows comfort me as I become invisible, one with nothingness.

Please…kill the sun. please kill the sun.

Please.
The pleasure. The pleasure is beautiful. Our tongues running around our bodies, consuming our skin, our nails digging into our skin, our voices moaning beyond the whispers as we fuck. In the back of the moving car without a driver.

I grab on to your hair from behind you as you scream with bursting of our energy as we fall faster in the car.

We fuck harder.

The hill gets violent.

I fuck you.

So hard.

I love you right now. The only kind of love I know.

Deep inside you, I lay burning. Burning to explode like a billion stars rushing towards the light. Burning within; without the outside.
The car rolls over the cliff.

Parts of our body lie scattered in the valley below.

A snake eats my legs.

A vulture eats my eyes.

A coyote eats my mouth.

The crow takes my dick and flies away with it.

Rats finish up the rest.
Your body is covered by floating butterflies. They die as soon as they touch parts of you and cover your whole shell. You are clothed in dead butterfly wings.
I wish I could fuck you again. Lick you and eat you at the same time.
But then it wouldn’t last a lifetime.

A lifetime is just a blink of an eye.
There is nothing. Everything is a lie and that is the only truth. Trying to not think and thinking of trying to not think and trying to not think again and again and again and again and again.
Please eat the sun.
I can see the world explode underneath your clothes she said to me and I closed my eyes and I fell back, not caring if anyone was there to catch me. Waiting to hit ground, my eyes are closed and I try not to think of falling.

I’m still falling. .

It’s been two hundred thousand lifetimes and I am yet to crash into something. Still falling.
Still born. The moment I was born I died.

So did you. All of you.
As you open this letter, slowly, scared of getting a paper cut while your nose bleeds covering your white shirt, making patterns of cherry blossoms in the white.
Wait…as you open this letter, slowly, scared of getting a paper cut while your nose bleeds….it covers your shirt…I can see it from the corner of my eyes…so…as you open this letter…even before you’ve read the first line or tasted a word of mine…you bleed.
bleed.
You ignore the mirror as your reflection begs for some recognition and the sink is stained red no matter how much you try to rub it away. Vigourously searing away at the surface, trying to replace the red with white.
You open the letter
You smile and bite your lip
A fly sits on you
Consuming your warmth

while I watch from a distance chained to the bed like a dog without a tail and this moment Is so beautiful.
Whisper to me again

Of what you want and what I gave
Sky

The sky isn’t there today

Did you kill the sky?

It took me a long time to paint it.

Can you give me back my sky?
There’s a fly on your fucking eye
I wish I could taste you again just to fuck you again to be with you again and I would hate you even more than the love I don’t want to feel for the blood from your nose still lies on the letter

You read the first word
The first word that ever was and ever will be

The only word

There is no other
You try to memorize the word, holding it close to you tightly clenched in your palm as your long nails dig deep into your skin and your shirt burns to the ground.

Naked you love me more for I can see you and you can see me and no one else seems to mind the sun.

Kill the sun for me and you can keep my sky.
You say the worst

Buttons from moth eaten coat lie scattered amongst broken pieces of glass as the whole world looks at us.
Rolling around the floor with my hands tied at my back, I can’t breathe in this house of yours as the fire flows over your grandmother’s old chair and I can feel the fire but not see it.
You see me lying there in the heat, about to burn, about to resemble the last shade of grey in your castles dungeons.

About to entirely evaporate

If I wasn’t there, no part of me was there for you to hold or smell or touch or chew or feel or fuck or suck or kneel in front of on the ground or nibble or stab or burn or spit on or hold or punch or cut open with scissors or feed seeds of a sacred flower hoping it would grow out of a navel or to stand next to or have over you or under you or behind you or far far away from you or loving you.

If there was no part of me for you to love anymore
Not even a memory

Nothing
Would you care for me right now?
So let me fall into you once again and I swear I will hide deep inside a crevice of your deepest darkest wound that you never want to open again and ill heal you from the inside out until you and I become one and I try to not think of the time you read the first word of this letter that is right now in your hand and you are staring at me in the mirror and smile at me as I lie in the middle of your room, feet chained, hands tied behind my back as your house can be seen glowing like a new revolution’s spark in the dark night and I lie here turning into the shade of grey found in a graveyard

Will you burn to the ground with me?
We could get washed away in the rain and flow into the river where we would finally merge or if the wind is strong, it can carry us together, away from this self-created hell.

“Did you burn it?” I asked her

“I ate it”
I looked at her and smiled.
“That’s why I love you” I said to her

“you love me to fuck me”
I smiled and looked away
We get into her car.
The ink leaked from the pen I used to write her the letter

She drove us far away
My hands are stained blue

She’s sleeping in the backseat

And I’m driving far away
She wakes up and holds me

The road seems to never end

But I don’t mind

Never mind